arini menaip guna keyboard pc so balik2 typo..tensen gue!
nk tekan len, len plak yg ditekannye since dh terbiasa dgn keyboard lappy aku yg dah berhabuk tu.
arghh!! mmg tensen ah!! so aku rasa aku mcm lg prefer pkai keyboard lappy tu..
byk btol jasa dia pd aku..
segala kenangan..pahit manis sumenye ade..
ehh.. tetiba rasa mcm tgh buat tribute utk lappy yg masih idup tu..haha!
sungguh x patot.
tp adekah patot tribute hanya utk yg dah mati??
showing ur appreciation towards sumbody who died already??
y dunt u show it to those who still alive??
u noe wut?? kita kdg2 x reti nk appreciate org yg masih idup jek..
tu pun x sedar ke??
fool by anger, we made decision by our madnessssss!!
making us loosing our senses!!
isnt it stupid??
pity to ourselves, shudnt we??
same goes to me..
i pity myself a lot..
i mad.. so i lose my senses.. n i didnt show my appreciation towards people..
wut an idiot am i??
i humiliate people without thinking ahead..
wut will they feel.. wut will people think of them.. n wut will they respond to me after that..
do you think its easy to get forgiveness?? NO ITS NOT!!
its d hardest thing ever!!!
it needs courage like climbing up a wall and tear it down (thats d ego)
forgive & forget..
2 Fs that really hurt me the most..
ruining my life into pieces..
i wished that Allah will make me forget things that i dont want to remember..
but it seems that Allah took everything in head away..
making me forget too much n the muches (only in my dict) thing that i forgot isnt the thing that i want to forget the most!!
such as my study... things that i read for d exam.. words that came out from my mouth.. i forgot them easily..!!! as easy as a SNAP!!
i can say some sentences that u wont expect me to repeat it again few minutes after bcoz i totally lost them in the jungle!!
haha.. funny n stupid isnt it??
well... Allah seems to be teaching me on how to b tough inside..
forgive n forget things.. even u people might think its easy.. but u'll find it hard urselves later..
fighting with ur bf n no one wants to let dow their ego n ask for forgiveness..
standing for ur words in the debate even its wrong..
ahh... we r juz like d dirty lawyer..
fighting for nothing.. for wut?? for nothing!!!
some people laughing at me bcoz of my stupidity..
for those who know my storyboard.. they might think im crazy n stupid..
maybe i am or maybe u are..
as for me.. i made decisions.. a lifetime decisions that i started to regret..
that im still looking for the 'HIKMAH' of it to show up..
to give me some clues for my action..
but yet NONE..
Allah testing me from every sides.. making me feel helpless that i dont have anywhere to go except back to HIM.
even i never go to anyone.
i believe in Allah for giving me such a test to make me understand wut life is all about.
its not beautiful if i didnt make it beautiful..
it'll b painful if think it is painful..
simply saying..
i give my life a design.. colourful.. or.. colourless..
everyday.. a design for it.. but it seems to be fading lately..
can i say that people see me putting a very bright n lovely colours on it but actually im juz using BLACK for it.. or maybe GREY?? i fade my own colour..
when u think u dont have any courage to face it.. u'll juz runaway..
i owez do that..
running away from d house..
pissed ppl off... making them slapping me...
letting them grab me n throw me away..
sumtimes its kinda fun..
but its juz bcoz of d pain within that i cant let it out..
how hard i try.. still cant throw it out..
im stopping for now since TM ppl is coming to fix d phone line.
til then.. salam..
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